I swear this is not any hallucination. I was patiently doing my revision for Economics, carefully doing my bundle lines and the utility curves to make sure they are tangent and what’s not etc. I was on the topic of Indifference Preference Theory- Hicksian vs Slutsky definition of Real Income (this better explains why slutsky). Then I felt a pair of eyes on me… on my left. So I turned and found “Slutsky” staring right back at me with his feelers frantically searching for something. OH FREAKS! So I practised the first of the 36 sets of pattern in the Cheng-do martial arts, did a full spin and made a beeline to escape Slutsky. Woots! I was alive! I stood in front of the desk… with a very very worried and burdened mind- Slutsky was nowhere to be found.
That leaves me with 101% focus on Slutsky while he lurks around in the night…
accompanied by this song on my Realplayer’s now playing list- I gotta feeling… (not a good good night definitely).
20 years ago on this day, my mom was in labour and had a painstakingly hard time to get me out onto this beautiful world.
20 years later I stand before her; I’ve become a part of her life and so has she been the reason to my beautiful life: The beautiful people I meet, the beautiful journey with her company, the stunningly beautiful destiny I can own. I owe it all to her.
They say, “Every girl grows up to be like her mother.”
If this is true, God, please make me a boy or something. Okay, I don’t mean it, I am happy as a girl and I certainly do not want to be “or something”. So God, do not answer this (:
Is it this phase I am going through that am I getting intolerable or am I just becoming more like her? Are all mothers the same? Are mothers really that great? Do you love your mom, am proud of her every single moment? Do you listen to her every woe(s) when Dad is annoying her again; every adventure(s) when the taxi uncle did not take the usual route she took and she scolded the Uncle from Thomson to Hougang, every triumphant story(s) about how she managed to get the xiao bai chye at a twenty cents cheaper from the Uncle Veggie downstairs, returns from Sheng Shiong (Haig Rd) and shows you that the instant noodles there are cheaper than the ones at Fairprice (hougang), grumbles about you not bringing her to hike and when you set a day free specially for her she tells you that she has to do her laundry which is obviously a spurious excuse to escape the exercise, grumbles about me always going out when I rot at home everyday and really go out just once in a bluemoon, compares me with my sister who is 7 years older, expects me to know every answer to her questions, expects me to be always by her side… … …?
It could have been better or worse, if I had RSVP to the event or not. But I am glad at least I’ve attended for it comes once-in-a-lifetime. (“It” refers to graduating from TP, NOT graduationS. I still want to graduate in London. haha.)
I had the most extraordinary Grad Day from most people and I didn’t know until the point of registration, when all of my friends were given the white cards printed with their names and assigned seats; I was given the blue card. On the card were these words shouting to me in bold capital letters- LATECOMER. Then 430pm came, excited souls donned their graduation robes and made their way into the auditorium. There I stood and my eyes searched for any hopeful blue card holders… then I saw Huiling. phews. This is the most significant part to my graduation day. Because if not for Huiling, I seriously have no idea what I’d do to kill time (maybe flood FB with my self-protraits.. OMG). Then the Marshal lined us up, this batch of latecomers less than 10, and brought us to the holding area with the refreshments (!) … … sealed.
Just 3 years ago, I told myself it was a mistake. I told myself, C’mon, it’s just 3 years, 6 semesters. Get over it! I’ll be free with my choices again after then. I promised myself that I will pursue my passion, my dreams and never to be bogged down by regrets.
Just yesterday, I realised that I was left with no other choices and I am all alone again. I am allowing regrets to multiply in my life quicker than ever. I will be stuck again for another 2 years. Just how did I allow myself to end up like that? Just how many more years will I take to learn my lessons?
